OMG!

ME:  Hello, Grammy!

(no answer)

ME:  Grammy!

(no answer)

ME:  Grammy?  Oh, my . . .  Julius, quick. Call 911.

JULIUS:  Is she dead?

ME:  I don’t know.  Call 911.

JULIUS:  The phone won’t work.  I think they’re both dead.

ME:  Oh, my God.  Grammy?  Grammy?

GRAMMY:  Ha!  April Fools!

ME:  Grammy!

GRAMMY:  Thought I was dead, didn’t you?

ME:  Yes!  Why would you do something like that?

GRAMMY:  What, are you deaf?  I said April Fools.

ME:  April Fool’s Day is tomorrow, Grammy.  Not today.

GRAMMY:  Well, what’s the point of playing a damn joke on April Fool’s Day?  Then you’d know it was a joke.  Besides, you don’t come over here on Thursdays.

ME:  I can’t believe you did that, Grammy.  I could kill you!

GRAMMY:  Ha!  A minute ago you were in tears because you thought I was dead.  Now you’re gonna kill me?  Make up your mind.  Do you want me dead or alive?

ME:  I want you alive, Grammy, so I can kill you myself.  Come on, Julius.  We’re leaving.

GRAMMY:  Hey!  Where are you going?  I thought you were gonna kill me?  Sheesh.  That woman will never amount to anything.  No follow through.

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