NEW CAR

TYPHUS:  Hey, Grammy.  Come look.  I bought myself some wheels.

GRAMMY:  Hell, are you even old enough to drive?

TYPHUS:  Got my license two weeks ago.

GRAMMY:  Well, I’ll have to remember to be more careful when I cross the street now.  Where is it?

TYPHUS:  It’s the blue convertible in front of Alfie’s.

GRAMMY:  You’re kidding me?

TYPHUS:  I got a great deal.  Only three-hundred bucks and it’s practically brand-new.  Only has 200 miles on it.

GRAMMY:  And you didn’t ask why you were getting a brand-new car for $300.00?

TYPHUS:  I know it’s got problems.  The dealer said it was in a small accident and the owner didn’t want it anymore.

ME:  What’s everyone looking at?

GRAMMY:  Typhus got himself a car.  Got a great deal on it, too.  Brand-new and only $300.00.

ME:  That’s ridiculous.  You can’t buy a new car for $300.00.

GRAMMY:  Oh, I don’t know.  You’d be surprised.  Come see.  It’s the one in front of Alfie’s.

ME:  But that’s . . . that’s my car.

TYPHUS:  You don’t have a car.

GRAMMY:  Not any more.  It was in a small accident.  Got crushed by a garbage truck.  Happy driving, Typhus.
 

Photo: Musty Moments