UNEMPLOYMENT

ME:  You know, I could get used to being unemployed.

GRAMMY:  Could?  Seems you have.

ME:  Funny, Grammy.  But it’s really nice not being slave to a job you go to for no other reason than to make money.  This is real freedom, waking up and knowing you  can do whatever you want.

GRAMMY:  Yeah, if doing what you want is sitting around the house all day.

ME:  I don’t sit around the house all day.

GRAMMY:  You’re right.  You don’t. You sit around my house all day.

ME:  Well, what else am I supposed to do?  I am on unemployment.

GRAMMY:  Go volunteer somewhere.  Climb a mountain.  Do something exciting or interesting instead of sitting on your ass all day.

ME:  You know, Grammy, I think you’re right.  I’ll see you later.

GRAMMY:  Where are you going?

ME:  Shopping.  I think it’s time I splurged a bit on myself.

GRAMMY:  Of course.  What else is an unemployment check for?

ME:  I’ll buy a new outfit or two, and maybe even a new clothes dryer. The old one has been shrinking my clothes lately.  See ya.

GRAMMY:  Lord, a new dryer.  What she really needs is a mirror.