TOPIARY

GRAMMY: Oh, geez, he’s at it again.

ME: Who, Grammy? At what?

GRAMMY: That artist fella next door. Thinks he’s a regular Edward Scissorhands.

ME: Maybe you should try your hand at some art, Grammy. I could get you one of those bonsai trees. You know, like in the Karate Kid.

GRAMMY: Yeah. And after I mangle it to death with these arthritic hands, I can use them to choke the breath out of you. You know, like in The Claw.

ME: That was a good movie. Wasn’t it?

GRAMMY: (sigh) Well, that was a waste of perfectly good sarcasm.

Photo Myrtle Tickner