TRICK OR TREAT

NEIGHBOR: And what are you supposed to be, little boy? You don’t look like you’re dressed up at all.

GRAMMY: He’s the son of an atheist liberal.

NEIGHBOR: Oh, sorry. Here you go.

JULIUS: Thank you,

ME: What did he get, Grammy?

GRAMMY: A bite-sized Hershey’s bar.

ME: And what’s the address.

GRAMMY: 27 Candykiller lane.

ME: Grammy, this isn’t funny.

GRAMMY: No. It’s not. The boy spends two hours in the freezing cold with no costume, and all he gets are bite-sized bits of fake chocolate. Talk about having a lousy day. Lord, I remember when chocolate was real and came in bars as long as your hand.

JULIUS (looking in bag) It’s not real?

GRAMMY: Well, it’s real. It exists. But it’s not really real. Not the chocolate. Know what I mean?

JULIUS: No.

GRAMMY: No. I guess not. Kinda like trying to explain color to a blind man. Oh well. At least there’s an up side. If someone is trying to poison you, there won’t be enough here to kill you.

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