PRINCESS

ME: How would you like to have a great-granddaughter, Grammy?

GRAMMY: Will she be more of a man than my great-grandson?

ME: Grammy!

GRAMMY: Hey, I’m just asking. Now why are you asking? Don’t tell me that ex of yours got you pregnant again?

ME: No, Grammy. I was thinking about artificial insemination. You know, with a sperm donor. From a sperm bank.

GRAMMY: Sorry, Barbara. I don’t know. I always got my sperm direct deposit.

ME: Oh, Grammy. I’m serious.

GRAMMY: So am I. Now why do you suddenly want a little girl?

ME: Well, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to dress up and pamper and treat like a little princess?

GRAMMY: Oh, Lord. Now there’s a good reason to have a baby. But on the other hand, it would sure take the pressure off of Julius.