FLYSWATTER

ME: What are you doing, Grammy?

GRAMMY: What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to kill that damned fly. It’s been buzzing around here all day.

ME: Well, get off the table and wait until it lands. If you fall off, you’ll kill yourself.

GRAMMY: Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? I die, you inherit everything, and give it to that low-life ex of yours as a bribe to take you back.

ME: Grammy!

GRAMMY: Here. Take the swatter. It’s on my foot. Give it a whack.

ME: (Whack!)

GRAMMY: Ow! Dammit! I said my foot, not my hand! Ow! Hey! Stop that!

ME: Take it back, Grammy. Take it back!

GRAMMY: All right, all ready. I take it back.

ME: Good. Now get down from there before you get hurt.

Photo: Fabrice Parais