PETS

ME:  I’ve been thinking about what you said, Grammy.  About Julius needing a friend.  What do you think about buying him a pet?

GRAMMY:  Oh, sure.  Everyone should have a pet instead of a friend.  Lord, Barbara. That’s the dumbest idea you ever had.  No, wait.  Having a baby girl just so you can play dress-up with her is the dumbest idea you ever had.  But this idea is pretty close.

ME:  Well, what do you suggest I do?

GRAMMY:  Send him outside by himself.  You can watch him from the window.  Within five minutes, one of the other kids from the neighborhood will be talking to him.  In ten minutes, he’ll be having fun.

ME:  But Grammy, I don’t know the kids in this neighborhood.  I don’t know their parents.

GRAMMY:  This isn’t about you.

ME:  You’re right.  It’s not about me.  It’s about Julius.  And I know my boy.  He needs a nice, fluffy, cuddly pet.

GRAMMY:  (sigh)  And people wonder why kids grow up and shoot their parents.

Photo Source