A PRESENT

GRAMMY: What am I supposed to do with these damn things?

ME: Nothing, Grammy. You just look at them. Aren’t they beautiful?

GRAMMY: You want me to sit around all day and stare at a couple of fish who can’t do more than swim in circles inside a stupid bowl that’s gonna fill up with fish shit that I’m gonna have to clean?

ME: I thought they might brighten this place up a bit, Grammy. And I thought you might like to have some company when I’m not here.

GRAMMY: So you brought me fish? For company? Lord, I can just imagine the conversations we’re gonna have. Too bad I don’t have one of those internet thingies so I can tell all the world about them. (sigh) Oh, well. At least you didn’t bring me a mime.