LAUNDRY DAY

ME: Grammy, where’s Snowflake?

GRAMMY: Oh, that damned cat of yours went for a nap in the washing machine. Nearly drowned the stupid thing. She’s hanging up on the clothes rack to dry out.

ME: Hanging?

GRAMMY: Yes, Barbara. I slipped a little mini noose around its fool neck and lynched the dumb thing.

ME: Grammy!

GRAMMY: Oh, calm down. I didn’t really do it. Good God, girl, sometimes I wonder if you have any brains at all. I couldn’t tie a noose if I wanted to with this damned arthritis. (sigh) Oh well, at least I can still hold a cigarette.