GRAMMY: You’re late
ME: Sorry, Grammy. I took Julius to the zoo and there was a terrible accident.
GRAMMY: What happened? Did mamby-pamby boy fall down and scrape a knee?
ME: No, Grammy. A man fell into the alligator pit. The alligator took off his arm. Bit it right off! Julius saw the whole thing and now I’m afraid he’ll be emotionally scarred. He’s a total mess right now.
GRAMMY: He’s a mess? What about the idiot who fell in? Now there’s a mess. I’ll bet it was his wife who pushed him.
ME: Really, Grammy. Why would she push him?
GRAMMY: Because the only men who go to the zoo in the middle of the afternoon are either pervs or slackers. She probably found out what he was really doing with his time - or not doing - and got pissed off. A little bump or nudge and - oopsy.
ME: She didn’t push him, Grammy. The woman was hysterical.
GRAMMY: Of course she was. The damned alligator only got his arm!
ME: Sorry, Grammy. I took Julius to the zoo and there was a terrible accident.
GRAMMY: What happened? Did mamby-pamby boy fall down and scrape a knee?
ME: No, Grammy. A man fell into the alligator pit. The alligator took off his arm. Bit it right off! Julius saw the whole thing and now I’m afraid he’ll be emotionally scarred. He’s a total mess right now.
GRAMMY: He’s a mess? What about the idiot who fell in? Now there’s a mess. I’ll bet it was his wife who pushed him.
ME: Really, Grammy. Why would she push him?
GRAMMY: Because the only men who go to the zoo in the middle of the afternoon are either pervs or slackers. She probably found out what he was really doing with his time - or not doing - and got pissed off. A little bump or nudge and - oopsy.
ME: She didn’t push him, Grammy. The woman was hysterical.
GRAMMY: Of course she was. The damned alligator only got his arm!
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4 comments:
hahahaha! good one . . .
I worry about your sanity, Barb.
" . . . the only men who go to the zoo in the middle of the afternoon are either pervs or slackers."
I'm not worried about your sanity, Barb. I just marvel at how your mind works.
It comes from being raised by a cynical optimistic pessimist.
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